Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Oh, Barbara, a change would do you good

Fascinating... or just media-savvy?

That's the question I was asking myself after finding out about Barbara Walters' ten most fascinating people of 2009, nine of which were revealed today on MSN.com. While Walters claims she wanted this year's list to be "more adventurous" than last year's (a veritable snoozefest, as far as I'm concerned), this year looks to be more of the same. And by same, I mean "ingeniously engineered in order to appeal to multiple demographics who wouldn't watch Barbara Walters in anything otherwise."

Let's look at the list, shall we? Note that these haven't been released in any sort of order. They're boring enough as it is.

Lady Gaga
No surprise here. Gaga was definitely one of the most interesting, if not fascinating, people of the year. She's actually talented. And, unlike Adam Lambert, she knows which buttons to push -- hence why she met the Queen of England.

Would Lambert be even let near the Queen? Are you kidding me?

Tyler Perry
This one seems strange at first, until you consider Walters is shrewd, shrewd, shrewd and wants to tick off as many demographic boxes as possible. More boxes equals more viewers. And everyone wants that.

Jenny Sanford
Who? Oh, right, she's the wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, who had an affair with that Argentinian woman. Now I know who she is.

Adam Lambert
I wonder what Walters will ask him about.

Sarah Paliin
So far, she's the only person this decade to make one of these lists twice. Expect a plug for Going Rogue. Expect a question about Alaska. Expect a gentle denial that, no, she won't be running for President in 2012. Expect her to wear red.

Michael Jackson's children
She could have just gone ahead and interviewed Paris, the only one of the three that actually did something notable this year. According to MSN, Walters will also air footage from an interview she did with their father. Is the This Is It soundtrack really not selling well enough?

Kate Gosselin
Be still my beating heart.

Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck... what exactly has he done this year?

Brett Favre
Another one of those box-tickers. Nothing to see here.

BUT WHO WILL BE NUMBER ONE?
Barack Obama
Walters said she wanted a "more adventurous" list this year, so I don't think Obama will be no. 1, as he made the list at the same spot last year. However, considering that Palin made it this year as well, who knows?
Chance: Somewhat slim, but unsurprising if selected.

Tiger Woods
The whole car incident happened less than a month ago, so I don't know if he'd even be considered. Plus, what else did he do this year?
Chance: Slim.

Rihanna
Picking Rihanna would be smart, but sobering -- I don't know if being assaulted by Chris Brown is necessarily something you would call "fascinating".
Chance: Moderate.

The Heene Family
I don't know if they deserve any more publicity. I'm sure Walters is smarter than that.
Chance: Slim.

Well, that wasn't any help, was it...

GRASPING AT STRAWS:
Some Actor or Something
Some Actress or Something
Some Musician or Something
A Member of the (U.S.) Government
Some Athlete or Something
Some Author or Something
Someone No One Has Heard Of

Based on what the rest of the list looks like, my bets are on the latter option.

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